The Why

Why The Gangrene Thumb?

I've always loved and respected plants.  When I was a kid my Dad took care of a family garden.  We weren't amazing at it.  We lived in town and it had a few basic plants, but I remember watching the sunflowers grow.  I remember shelling peas.  I remember shucking corn

Then, slowly, the garden grew over.  We were a family with four kids who were insanely busy.  Gardening and lawn care weren't exactly a priority in our lives, and that's okay.  Life happens and I really didn't care, so don't expect a sob story about losing the family garden and how I'm traumatized to this day.  French fries don't grow in the garden (come on, you know what I mean...) so I didn't mourn its loss.

I would go to gardens, botanical gardens, and be so amazed.  They were beautiful.  They were inspiring.  I wanted flowers and produce and trees I could say I had helped raise.

Just one problem, I do NOT have a green thumb.

Don't believe me?  Let me present:

Exhibit A
A little old lady asked me to water her plants while she was away from home.  I nearly killed them.

Exhibit B
I grew up petrified of bees.  Stepped on a bunch of nests.  It took me till my teenage years to even be able to see one without booking it a mile away.  Even now, with kids of my own, eating dinner on the back porch, a bee comes to check out what we're eating for dinner, and hubby is all cool and lets it buzz around till it loses interest.  And where am I?  Watching from behind the glass door, safe in the kitchen, with the kiddos and dog, waiting for it to go away.

Exhibit C
I have never touched a worm.  Nope, not ever.  No, seriously, never.  Not even in Biology class when we had to dissect them.  I was "The Recorder" in our group.  I don't know what I'm expecting, but they weird me out and I have yet to touch one.  Yeah, I'm in my thirties.


These are just three examples of my "gangrene thumb," and there are plenty more anecdotes where these came from, but I have a problem...

I really, really, no like really, want to have a green thumb.

I love lawns with gardens.  I'm jealous of my neighbors who as we speak are cultivating all kinds of food from their many garden beds.  The kale withered and burned in my crappy little elevated garden box.  I'd love to feed my children from our own backyard, reduce my carbon footprint, eat local.  And maybe, someday, holy crap it doesn't even seem possible, have actual decorative living flowers in my lawn.

So let's see what I can do about that in the digital age where there are copious resources and no place to hind behind excuses.  The pictures won't be pretty.  You'll thank your lucky stars this isn't your backyard.  But, really, what can stop me if I really want it, right?  Well, except being really bad at gardening.  Like really bad.

Care to watch?